


The Emergency Of Love

by Bobertzha



Category: 9-1-1 (TV)
Genre: Blood and Violence, M/M, Near Death, Sexual Content
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-02-08
Updated: 2020-07-30
Packaged: 2021-02-27 21:48:04
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 12,897
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22612792
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Bobertzha/pseuds/Bobertzha
Summary: This story happens after 3×10."Will you be my stepdad?" Christopher's words set Buck in the biggest fire he's ever been. Not to mention the kiss, it's like flushing a buck into the eddy of the toilet, it feels so good but lost at the same time. Facing the dangerous situation everyday has never made him so afraid of losing something that he cherishes the most.Ever since the fight club, Eddie has found that it's more and more difficult to control his feelings, but he didn't have to pretend in front of Buck, even though he betrayed him once, but Eddie finds that he could never trust anyone else like he trusts Buck. Sometimes he doesn't even sure if he takes Christopher to Buck's place because it's Christopher wants to see Buck. He thought he didn't need to pretend, until the kiss, which makes him starts to think if he has been pretending all along.
Relationships: Evan "Buck" Buckley & Eddie Diaz
Kudos: 42





	1. Chapter 1

Buck

The doorbell is ringing earlier than I thought it would be, it feels like they've called just like two seconds ago, but my phone says that was two hours earlier, well, I had a short nap, last night’s shift really worn me out. Imagine that, there was someone who’s stupid enough to try to commit a suicide by setting his neighbor’s house on fire, especially when the whole family is in that house. That dude called 911 and said he thought the family had gone for vacation, and he didn't want to burn down his mother's house, so he took gasoline and a lighter, went to his neighbor's house and set it on fire so that his body won't be found. But turns out came out from the house unscathed, and almost killed an entire family, at least he successfully sent himself to jail, said Athena.

Last night was exhausted for everyone, but I felt like I could do it again when I heard Eddie was taking Christopher here, he said he was too tired to take care of Christopher all by himself. I really get that, he's a great single daddy who’s a firefighter with a kid has CP. I’m not thinking anything bad about Christopher, if all the CP kids are adorable as him, I’m about to wonder if this is a really disease. All I'm trying to say is I’m glad that I can give a hand.

“Hey, how are you guys doing?” I open the door, and I see Eddie holding Christopher’s hand, standing at my porch. Eddie’s wearing a new T-shirt, I kinda want to know who gave him this, because there’s no way he could buy this for himself.

“Yeah, guess who made a handcraft today?” Eddie responds me as he pets Christopher’s head, he loves doing that.

“This is for you, Buck.” Christopher hands me a red small truck made from paper, it’s a fire truck, and there’s a smily face in the window.

“That’s you.” Eddie points out, “In case you can’t tell because he drew so good that this is way more good-looking than you actually are.”

“Wow, I mean, I don’t know what to say, thank you so much, Christ, this is going to stay beside my bed, like, forever!” I lower my body and hug him.

“You are welcome, he, daddy was just being a little jealous.” He whispers to my ear.

“Yeah, that’s why someone is kind of grumpy today, you are a little jealous of me, aren’t you?” I smirk to Eddie.

“A little? You know I’m just too tired to punch you in the face right now.” Somehow these words just make me laugh harder.

“Come on in, guys.” I close the door behind them.

“I thought you said you were gonna clean your apartment in the phone?” Eddie asks.

“Yeah, about that, I woke up like 10 minutes ago.” I just stand there, rub my hands together, and put on my goofy smile.

“You know we are not here to help you clean up, right?”

“Yeah, yeah, you guys sit there, I go clean it up, and I’ve already ordered some food, the delivery should be here any minutes soon.” I said as I gather my dirty clothes and put those dishes in the sink.

“Dad, we should help, Buck helped us.”

“You are always right, my little wise man, even though the host sucks, right?”

“You know I can still hear you here, right?” I yell..

“That’s the point.” Eddie shoots back, ouch.

After dinner, I look down to the table and scan the empty boxes, can’t believe we finished two 12 inches pizzas, and Christopher seems still not quite full yet. I know giving Christopher junk food is not good, but even though Cap has tried his best to teach me how to cook, I just still don’t know how to prepare food for more than two people. One thing that I wouldn’t let go this job is that I can work all the time, which means we have Cap around us, all the time, why learn to cook while there is already a chef who’s beyond compare.

“OK, have you had enough food, Christopher?” I turn to him and adjust his glasses, for his hands are already covered with pizza oil and sauce. He just shakes his little head, making a really big grin like he always do, with his irregular but cute teeth.

“No? That’s a lot of pizza you’ve taken.”

“Don’t mind him, you know you will never get a yes on that question.” Eddie touches my shoulder across Christopher.

“And now, my little buddy, can you go over there and wash your hands?” He says to Christopher in a low and gentle tune, he doesn’t raise any voice to anyone, well, not in normal time, but seeing the way he talks to Christopher, it’s like he’s actually angry and yelling all the time.

Christopher’s walking to the sink step by step, crutched. Sometimes I like him so much that I even want him to be my own son, Eddie was right, he’s a little angel given to all of us, even we fail all the time, but we love him too much to stop trying. I look over to Eddie, he can’t hide the smile on his face when Cristopher could do something on his own, even if they’re the smallest things in the daily life, which still means the world to him.

“Who the hell give you this ugly T-shirt, and don’t say you bought yourself.” It offends my eyes every time when I look at it.

“How could you be so sure that this is a new T-shirt?” He asks me back. I don’t answer it, because I just knew it, for no reason. I just sit there and stare at him.

“Fine, fine, it was Lena, OK? I didn’t tell you because I thought you would be…”

“Jealous? Picky? Why I need to be jealous of you and your fire lady girlfriend who took you to the fight club, which end up you went to an underground wrestle club and you almost killed a man. I mean, who am I to judge?” I interrupt him.

“Buck, let me finish.” He puts his hand on my mouth to make me shut up. “I didn’t tell you it’s because I thought you would be whatever you are now.”

I tried to say something, but he’s hand’s still on my mouth. He won’t move, he just stares me back, eye to eye, it’s way too long for a normal stare, and I start to wondering if this the hand he uses to jack off, ew.

“Wait a minute, you’re not just sorry about betraying us with that shitty lawyer, you are jealous of it was Lena there with me to help me go through all those things.”

“No, I’m…” I want to tell him that it bothers me every time when Lena's around him. I grab his wrist with my hand, but I don't fight with him, I'm waiting him to loosen up, and I can tell him, yes, I am jealous.

“What are you talking about? Who’s Lena, and what’s the fight club?” Christopher’s voice comes behind me, then I remember that he’s still here.

“Now, who wants to play some video games?” The voice comes out from two different mouthes, I glance back, finding that Eddie’s having the same expression on the face, a confused grin.

“YES!!!!!!!!!!” I shout out aloud. “I WIN!!!!!!!!!!”

“That’s not fair.” Eddie complains.

“Come on, just admit that you were defeated by me, revenge accomplished.”

“You two were up against me together.” OK, I cheated a little, I told Christopher that he could always come here with me to make him against Eddie, I wasn’t sure Eddie was taking easy on Christopher, but that’s a really beast when he plays.

“Loser don’t get right to vote, right?” I ask Christopher.

“Yeah, dad, you lost, and we won.”

“OK, fine, anyway, it’s time for bed, boys.”

“No, you are punishing us for beating you up, that’s retaliation.” That’s not fair!

“So what? I’m the father.”

“Not mine.” I say to him, what’s the trick he’s been playing?

“Ain’t I, Buck, ain’t I?” He questions me and leaves us in front of the TV.

“I really need a shower, towels are still in that closet, right?”

“Yeah.”

“And Buck.”

“Yes?”

“Help me put your brother to sleep, please.” Why I can’t argue him with this? I look down to Christopher.

“Guess it’s time to go to bed, little brother?”

“No, you are too big to be my brother.” He replies.

“That’s what I thought.” I hold his hand and lead him to the small bed, which is basically just a mattress.

“Are you sure you are sleeping here, you can sleep the bigger bed with your dad.” I feel a little bit guilty about this, I swear I will buy a bed if he will spend more time here.

“Yes, I like to sleep alone.” He tells me as I put him under the quilt, he took a shower before the video games.

“Does your dad kiss you goodnight?”

“Yeah, so that I can sleep tight.”

“OK,” I kiss him on the forehead. “Sleep tight.” When I’m ready to stand up, he stops me.

“Hey, Buck, can I ask you something?”

“Sure, buddy, what it is?” I sit down again on the mattress.

“Will you be my stepdad?” I frozen right there for seconds, what he just said?

“What?”

“My dad said that he’d like to live with you.” I’m so out of mind right now.

“I’m…I’m sure he didn’t mean that.” Or did he?

“It’s because of me that you don’t…don’t want to be my stepdad?” He looks down to his hands, oh on, I’m making him cry.

“No, no, definitely not because of you, you are my favorite.” I tell him. “You are so lucky to have your dad, and there is no one in this world can love you like that, he loves you more than the sum of the parents’ love for their own children.”

“So, you mean only my dad will love me like this?”

“Yes.”

“But you are really good to me, too, if that makes you my dad too?” What? I can’t argue with that logic, this kid is much more clever than his dad.

“No, that’s different, some people just won’t be attracted by the same sex, I mean I like your dad, but not that kind of like, I could be your big brother, or uncle, Uncle Buck, isn’t that a cool name?” Only take care of him for like 10 minutes, it feels like I had run out the intelligence of my entire life.

“Jack’s dads are cool, and he told me that all homophobic people are just in deep closet.”

“Maybe, maybe.” I stroke his hair back to his ears. “Now, you need to rest, let’s talk about this another time? You have school tomorrow, and your dad and I need to work in the early of the morning.” I kiss him again on the same spot I just did.

“Love you, dad, oh, sorry, Buck.” He touches his nose and says.

“It’s okay, I love you too, buddy.”

After taking the longest shower in my life, I tiptoe to upstairs. When I get into bed, Eddie’s already there.

“Sorry, you have to crowd with me.” I talk to him.

“It’s okay, Christopher likes to sleep alone, and we didn’t give you enough time to prepare.”

“Thanks for that understanding, you won’t believe what Christopher just told me.”

“What?”

“He wants me to be his stepdad, have you been bad to him?” I joke.

“He’s best friend in school jack has two dads, he may just think that’s cool, that’s all.”

“No, he told me that you said you’d be willing to live with me.”

“I’m living with you right now, what else do you want? A big fucking marriage ceremony?”

“I’m not kidding. I could marry you if that means having Christopher to be my son too.”

“Me neither.” He turns face to me. “I’m really appreciated for what you’ve done for Christopher, Buck, listen, that’s a totally different thing from this, you, here, seeing him happy all the time, you have no idea how depressed it is when you see him suffer and there is nothing you can do to help him, and backwards, he’s the one who bears the most and cares the most about you, do you know how much that hurts? I don't want that for you.” He's taking seriously.

“I’m so sorry, Eddie, I am. You know I’m just a giant asshole, I’m just curious what’s the feeling of living and having sex with men, you know, like Mitchell and Tomas.”

“I don’t know you that well, but I’m not gay.”

“Me neither, I think, but did you ever want to kiss a guy?”

“No.”

“Why?”

“Because I didn’t.”

“Aren’t you curious?”

He opens his eyes, looks like he’s gonna punch me, I hold my breath, he won’t do that, will he?

“No.”

“Okay.” I sigh, not sure why I'd do that.

“Do you?” He asks out of blue.

“I don’t know, a little?” That’s true, every girl I have dated, they all told me that I’m a really good kisser, I kinda want to know how’s it feeling to kiss another hot guy. A hot guy like Eddie, I mean apparently not the guy who’s lying in front of me, and who's moving close, like a slow motion. He’s getting closer and closer, I can even smell my shampoo on his hair, is everything going to be so charming on him? Until he’s close enough, our lips touch, and then crush into each other, he’s lips are surprisingly soft and sweet, there is no tongue, no bite, our lips just move with the same rhythm, finding the way to breathe, to let off.

All of a sudden, he just moves back from me. I’m still there, eyes wide open, mouth ajar.

“You got your kiss, now sleep.” He turns his back on me.

I’m not sure what just happened, are all of these is a dream, because if it isn’t, I think I can never sleep again after I just had the most surreal kiss in my life.


	2. Chapter 2

Eddie

The morning sun is stinging on my skin, it makes sense because Buck’s bed is put under the window, “I need to get up early, sometimes the alarm won’t work.” He’d explain. When I can barely open my eyes, the first thing I see is Buck’s sleeping face. It’s odd to see him like this, quiet as the surface of the lake without a ripple. He looks so fragile which makes you want to put your arms around him, protect him from the dangerous world. The white sunlight shines on his features, making his hair and eyebrows look even more golden than usual. There is an impulse, I reach to touch his birthmark on his left eyebrow, people always say that he looks like he's got a punch, but I’ve found it cute and unique since the first time I met him at the firehouse. And here’s the edge again, to kiss him, I don’t know what’s wrong with me, tiredness was the reason why I did it, but not the reason why I want to do it. I move my hand back as soon as when I sense he quivers a little. I didn’t sleep well last night, I could feel his gaze on me all the time, but when I looked to him, he closed his eyes, and wouldn’t even breathe a little. I have never had this kind of feeling for anybody, not even for Shannon, I loved her so much, I still I am, but looks back from now, that’s more like responsibility rather than love, I just wanted to make up to her, and I wanted Christopher to be happy with his mother around him. I was so wrong to try to own someone, she was never mine, and when I knew it, she’d already gone. Now, all I want to do is spend the rest of my life in this bed, with him. I know I’m not gay, at least I had never thought him like that before the kiss, I just simply liked having him around me. This really scares the shit out of me, I worked all night on my explanation, but still, the best way so far is to take Christopher and run as far as we can, and never speak to him ever again.

I try to I get up and pick up my clothes without letting out any noise, shit, why I feel like I just had a bad one-night stand. I go down the stairs and wake Christopher up.

“Shh, Buck’s still sleeping, is it okay I take you to school a little earlier today?”

He nods.

“Okay, let’s get you washed and dressed up.” I tell him as I pull him up.

“Can I talk now, dad?” He asks when we get on the car.

“Of course, buddy, I’m so sorry we had to keep it quiet in there.”

“Why we couldn’t wake up Buck, is he gonna be mad?”

“No, he just need more sleep, he didn’t sleep well last night.”

“Did you sleep well, dad?”

“Yeah, how about you?”

“Buck kissed me night, and I slept like a baby.”

“Good.” I starts the car.

I think all the way when we heads to Christoper’s school, I tried to have a conversation with him about Buck. But the truth is I did say to him that, it’d be good and helpful if Buck can stay with us. I want to explain to him that we don’t love each other like Shannon and I loved each other. But I can’t, I don’t know it’s because I think Christopher is putting his feeling for his mother on Buck, or it’s me, moving my feelings about Shannon to Buck. It occurs to me that the kiss may not only have ruined our friendship, it changed everything, I’m falling in love with Buck, and I can’t afford it anymore, Christopher loves Buck, and he just lost him, because of me. I let him down, again, why I can’t be more selfless, I hurt Christopher and Buck both this time, I don’t know what should I do to let them forgive me and make things back to the way they were. Deep down I know, there is no way back.

I drop Christopher on the gate of their school.

"Are you sure you will be oaky?"

"Yes, dad, like always."

I get off from the car, help him with his sticks.

"Bye, dad." He waves at me, and I wave back. I lost counts of how many times, I just stand there, watching him use his sticks to walk to the teaching building, but for the first time, I don't want to work, because Buck would be there, and I can't face him right now. But I have to, I know that, in any ways, I have to, I was the one who kissed him, I have to talk about this with him soon or later.

Buck

They were already gone when I got up, so, here I am again, making my own breakfast. I should’ve been used to wash my face and brush my teeth alone, though I loved it when Abby giggled me from back and ate our breakfast together, I was doing fine without her for a really long time. Now, I’m just so sick of being all alone, that’s why Buck 1.0 always tried to find some company with strange girls, but not anymore, I told myself I didn’t want to be that Buck. Still, loneliness is almost unbeatable, Eddie and Christopher are like my runaways from that. But all things got complicated after Eddie kissed me, I can still taste the kiss with my mouth. The way he acted like it was nothing, like it was some kind of bromance jokes. But then, next thing I know is me waking up with an empty pillow besides me, if he didn’t care, why did he avoid me by sneaking out without waking me up? I know he needed to take Christopher to school, but we could do that together. Or maybe he didn’t want us to be seen, because we got “You are so cute together.” “Aren’t you two just adorable.” and “You two have such a great kid.” these kind of comments a lot. But none of these can explain why he put his mouth on mine, and why I didn’t want him to stop? And one more question is going to make my head explode, goddamn it, why life has to be so confusing.

Eddie

I get to the station just in time, I’m so ready to dive into the work for another day, because I’ve decided on the way that I would never bring the kiss up again. Buck will drop it too, his brain storage can’t last more than a week. I run into Cap as I walk inside.

“Good morning, Cap.”

“Good morning, Eddie, how was last night, I heard you and Christ went over to Buck’s place.” Bobby asks me and waves to the people who are greeting him “Morning”.

“He tells you everything, doesn’t he?” Bobby’s like Buck’s real father in this team, and he is Bobby’s favorite son. Bobby tries his best to do everything he thinks it’s good for Buck, it’s a shame when I see Buck can’t understand that.

“No, only the things he’s willing to tell.” Yeah, that’s so like him.

“I see, Cap, have you ever found him annoying?”

“All the time, sometimes I just wish I didn’t know him.” He laughs.

“Will you? I mean if you can choose to forget him.”

“I know he’s such a pain in everyone’s ass, but I will if you can do that too.” He pats me on the shoulder. I can’t help thinking that he’s insinuating something, it can't be true that he already knows I kissed Buck. No, he did not.

“Did Buck talk to you about last night?”

“He was just exciting about you and Christopher were coming over, he even asked me how to prepare a dinner for three people, let me guess, he didn’t do it.”

“We had pizzas.”

“Speaking of food, have you had your breakfast?”

“Yeah, but I can still use another cup of coffee.”

“Let’s go, then.” Cap puts his arm around me and take me directly to the kitchen.

Buck

I spent all my morning listening Hen and Chim arguing about Hen's going to adopt another child.

“You should've told me that, to be clear, I'm not trying to be officious, I just worry about you have to work and take care of two kids at the same time.” Chim pours himself another cup of coffee and says, is that why he doesn't want any kids?

“I got Karen, OK? Athena has two kids, and one of them is going to college.” Hen corrects him.

“If you were Athena, I wouldn't be able to stand here this long.”

“Fair enough.” Hen points to Chim. “Don’t say I didn’t warn you this.”

“OK, fine, please don’t tell her, Cap’s gonna kill me.” Chim puts his hands in the air.

“How do you think anyway?” Hen asks. “Buck?”

“Yes? Oh, yeah, fantastic.”

“Boy, what’s your problem? Did you have a tough night?”

“Yeah, you look like having a serious amnesia.” Chim chimes in with Hen.

“You could say that, last night was, em, confusing.”

“Having a girl problem? Trust me, they just…”

“What you guy are talking about?” Bobby’s voice cuts in. I see Eddie follow behind, I don’t know it’s my illusion or is he even hotter this morning? Stop, Buck, stop.

“Hey, Cap, good morning.”

“Good morning, guys.” Cap replies. Eddie just bypasses us to the bar counter, pouring himself a cup of coffee, I know he didn’t sleep well, either.

“You know what, Cap, Hen can really use some advice from you.”

“What, oh, by the way, congratulate you and Karen are having another kid.”

“Thanks, Cap, Chim’s just being silly here.”

“No, I mean…”

They follow Cap to walk to the office, now it’s just me and Eddie. I look at him; I stare at him; I glare at him. But he just refuses having any eye contact with me.

“Eddie.”

“Yes?” Not even a glance.

“Eddie?” Raising my voice.

“I’m listening.” Still not looking at me.

“Could you at least look at me?”

“What?” He utters. He seems angry.

“Can we talk about last night?”

“I was tired last night.”

“Are you saying it was a mistake?”

“Yes.”

“But why did you do that?”

“Are you going to tell anyone?”

“What? No, of course not!”

“Then drop it.”

“But…” The emergency ring cuts me off.

“Go, everyone, go!” Bobby rushes out from the office, and when I look back, Eddie's gone.


	3. Chapter 3

Buck

I have never felt so awkward when we are on our way to wherever needs us. When Chim and Hen stop arguing, all the voices left are the ringing of the fire truck and the noise from the sidewalk. I peer to Eddie’s side, who is looking outside. It’s killing me when I can’t talk to him, I don’t know where I did wrong to make him stop talking to me again.

“What’s wrong with you couple? Had a bedroom fight?” Hen asks me and Eddie.

“Yeah, even I can sense the awkwardness here.” Chim says.

“I don’t know Buck, but I’m just a little bit tired.” He replies before I get the chance to say something.

“Tired of love, huh?” Chim laughs as him gives a high five with Hen.

“Not funny.” Eddie’s so serious that he seems actually angry.

“Sorry, man, we were just…”

“It’s okay, I was overreacted.”

“Guys, we are here.” Cap says in the front. And everyone storms out.

“What we have here?” I ask Cap when I get off from truck, finding us actually just pull over beside a road. As we bypass the car and walk to the sidewalk, I see it. There is a freaking treadmill on a pedestrian. I’m even surprised that the person hasn’t been a pool of meat paste.

“This is what we’ve got here.” Cap holds his breath.

“Chim, Hen, how’s he doing?” Cap asks.

“Not well, I can see he has an open knee fracture in his left leg, an inflict heavy losses on his head, no consciousness, still has a little bit of breathing. The point is we can’t move him, if we move the treadmill away, it could cause internal hemorrhage, he will die in less than 10 minutes.” Hen diagnoses.

“That’s why I don’t jog in the in the city or anywhere nears to a gym.” Chim says.

“Chim, go to find some tools, we are going to dismember this treadmill, only keep the necessary wight on him to help him stanch.”

All of a sudden, there is an explosive sound blast out from the third floor with black smog and sparks.

“Buck, Eddie you two go up stairs to see what’s happening there.” Cap commands us.

“On it.” Eddie says and put on his helmet.

“Hey, wait for me.” I yell behind him.

While we are still rushing upstairs, people are still coming out of emergency rescues from the opposite way of us. Most of them have barely woken up from last night’s tiredness when they found their butts were about to be roasted. If it hadn't been for the fire alarm, most of them wouldn't have made it.

“Sir, can you tell me how many people are up there?” I intercept a man who’s dressed up like a swimmer, except all his clothes are in his hand, and he’s sweating all over the place.

“I…I don’t know, but I’m…was taking a shower and then I heard those noise, I didn’t take it seriously, then the explode and the smogs came out from nowhere.” He’s too panicked to barely finish his words.

“Okay, Sir, I need you to help lead those people out of this block, okay?” I ask him, and he nods. But when I look up again, Eddie goes inside. There is a smell of burnt rubber in the air, and a slight, frequent cracking sound accompanied by the cracking of glass from the heat. Even so, the toxic smoke is not so big that me can’t see clearly. I yelled Eddie's name at the top of my lungs, no one answers .As I’m about to go further into the room, I heard a voice coming from the intercom, but which only the captain tells us that the fire was out of control, and that we have to retreat now after making sure no one is there because they are going to use the water cannon. Cap’s right, we have to withdraw now, most of the structures used for weighing are made of wood, which has been burned to charcoal. This, combined with the impact of water cannons, is highly likely to lead to massive collapses with unpredictable consequences. But I'm not leaving until I find Eddie. Sorry Cap, you know me.

“Eddie!” I call for him as I go inside, but one of the biggest blast stops my steps.

“What happened, Buck, Eddie, answer me.” Cap sounds nervous in the intercom. But all I can think is Eddie, he must be fine, that guy even climbed into other’s home to save a kid.

“Yeah, we are going down.” His voice comes out from the intercom, which makes me relieved.

Eddie breaks out from the door, carrying an unconscious person by his shoulder. I take the other arm of that person as we go out. When we get out of the building, the last blast drowns the entire floor in the fire. We help the injured person get on an ambulance, he has breathed too much black smog.

“Well done, but don’t be so reckless next time, and you Buck, has some bad influence on him.” I don’t really know if this is a compliment or a criticism, but Cap always likes to say both of them at the same time. I look over to Eddie, who just nods his head, that fucking hero just save a human life today. Is he trying to be so humble about it?

“Hey, nice work today.” I touch his shoulder and pull him towards me.

“Today hasn’t ended.” He shakes my hand off and walks away.

Looking at him turns his back on me, it just feels so hurt, as if being put into an eddy of fire, and there is no way out.

Eddie

I don’t know what’s wrong with me, even now when I look back at it, I can still feel the danger and fear. When I rushed into it, my mind went blank, just like a wind-up engine, I can't helped feeling my way forward. But the truth is, if I hadn't been lucky enough to find out the person in the dressing room in time, we could have all ended up dead in the blast. According to Athena afterwards, the fire was very likely due to the aging of the gas pipelines between the first floor and the second floor, combining with the hot weather, caused the leakage, the leakage of natural gas may have through the wooden floor to the second floor, just under the treadmill, recently used a treadmill has an incredible internal temperature inside, that’s probably what lit the gas and caused an explosion, and because of the so-called green concept, the gym was composed of wood decoration, fire spread much faster than ordinary buildings.

The point is, I nearly killed myself, and I almost killed Buck. I knew it was a mistake to keep him close. There were so many people on the team. Why would I have to choose him to be my closest one? Only then did I realize that from the first greeting, I have been trying to approach him, I couldn't stand his misunderstanding, I would be jealous of his feelings with Abby and Ali, and what kills me the most is to bear his betrayal, all of these are because when he and I looked each other in the eye at the very first time, I fell, I fell hard, possibly harder than I could ever be. But this won’t do anything good for both of us, not mention to Christopher. I sincerely don’t know what to do right now, now sacrificing myself during the job seems not that lame as an option.


	4. Chapter 4

Buck

It’s been two weeks, three days, eleven hours, twenty minutes and forty five seconds, no, forty seven seconds since he decided to ghost me, unbelievably, again. I don’t how this thing became about me? I should be the one who’s mad at him, he kissed me after all, why he did he get the right to be mad? And what he’s mad at? For me not pulling away immediately? I don’t know, because I was shocked, I didn’t know how to react to the kiss. So I quit trying to reach out too, this is not my problem, because being a fire fighter is already hard enough, there is no way I can choose our friendship over other people’s real lives.

To all my surprise, besides Hen and Chim asked me what’s going on and got my ambiguous answers, Cap didn’t give a word, and he even changed my shift so I didn’t have to work with him at the same time that often. Is there any chance that Eddie already told Cap all about us? But he made it very clear that none of us should talk about it anymore. I shake the idea out of my system and toss my gaze over to Eddie, who is sitting beside the window, avoiding eye contacts with me, sometimes I just want to dash over and plug him right in the face, I tried so hard every time to do the right thing, why is always me to take the fall?

Instead hitting him, I lost myself in his profile, he looks haven’t shaven for days, but the jaw line is still prominent and angled, His nose and the joint of the bridge of the nose just right for the height of his forehead, hazel color eyes shine under the sunshine in Los Angeles, his eyelashes with the blink of an eye as a slow motion, the look from the side of his face length is perfect for him, and the forehead doesn't seem so broad either, although in the position of the hairline and the forehead is slightly drooping, but I don't know why, such style is still very appropriate for him. He must have felt the gaze, before he turns, I look away with all my confusion and voidness.

“Who called the 911?” I asked when we get off the car.

“An anxious dad apparently.” Cap tells us. He points the man who is standing in front of the crowd, looking up to the towering building. Athena is already there, looks like asking about the details. I follow their sight to the outside of the windows of the high-rise apartment area, and I see it, there is a fricking person standing on the frame of the window, fifteen-floors high at least!

“Oh my God.” I say under my breath as we move forward to the man.

“What’s going on?” Bob asks Athena when the man is talking. Athena rises her head a little, motioning to listen to the man’s talking.

“That’s…that is my son, he’s just 16,” A fricking teenager, fuck, the father says with his chocking voice.

“Right to the point, sir, what’s happening?” Athena pushes, she has the power to force people do whatever she says.

“I got his call this morning, he told me that…” He voice is going down.

“WHAT?” Athena yells.

“He told me he’s gay, okay?” He blunts out.

“And…”

“And I said something I’ve regretted, I’m sorry, I had no idea that he would do this because I said some nasty, unthoughtful things! I’m not living either if he jumps off!” He shouts in despair.

“Okay, Buck, Hen, Chim stay here with me to settle the jumping cushion, Eddie, you are going up with Athena in case the door is locked, talk some sense to that kid, got it?” Cap asks.

“Yes, Cap!” We reply as a unit.

As I move out the cushion with Chim, I look over to Eddie, who hesitates a second and follows Athena into the building.

Eddie

I look to tools on my hand, Cap was right, only letting me and Athena up to the top floor, his father’s face might irritate the kid more, and since that is the top floor and there is only one big french sash on the side of wall of each floor, there is no way we can save that kid with unexpectedly force. Let us pray that me or Athena has the eloquence to talk the kid out of it.

The elevator stops, the doors slides open, we go inside, Athena presses the bottom of 16, there is no way that kid could survive if he jumps.

“So, what’s the problem?” She asks when the doors are closed, we are the only ones in there. I look at her in doubt.

“You and Buck.” She adds.

“I don’t know what are you talking about, you have to be more specific.” She and Cap must have discussed us on the pillows.

“I know you don’t what to talk about it, but seriously, your Cap doesn’t even know what’s going on between you two, he’s worried.” 

“I feel like I’m the teenager here.” I tell her.

“Well, I’m sure you will get over it, and trust me neither of us likes to be your parent, so stop acting like one stupid teenager, both of you.” She orders, and I just look down to my feet, I’m not ashamed of what I have done, I just don’t want to face it, knowing that won’t go well just makes it much worse.

The doors opens again, I have to say this is a very silk-stocking apartment, the decorations even look like the presidential suite floor of a luxury hotel. The decor is all white and gold, the pale blue marble floor looks sumptuously luxurious, and there are two beautifully manicured pots of regal orchids not far from the elevator. We don’t even have to try to find the right apartment, there is already a bunch of people standing there trying to open the locked door.

“LAPD, move your asses, please.” Athena pulls off her sun glass and shows the identification.

“Thank God you are here.” There is a boy who tails us along the way.

“Didn’t you hear what I said, son?” Athena puts up her threatening voice.

“Yeah, but I’m Joe’s boyfriend, I want to help.”

“Will you first fill us up of what the hell is going on in there.” I say as I tried to open the lock with lock-aid gun, but it’s locked from the inside and this is a fucking fingerprint lock, the tools won’t work at all.

“He told his dad that he’s gay this morning, be…cause…I told him that I couldn’t be with some who’s still in the closet.” The boy tells us.

“But his dad said something that makes him so angry, and he blamed me that I shouldn’t have pushed him to do that, we got into a huge fight, he said he didn’t even want to live anymore, I thought he was just furious and being irrational, so I told him to do it, and I just left.” He starts crying.

“Please, save him, if he died because of me I think I can’t never forgive myself…” He says. This just makes me wonder why did they do that in the first place, I know life is strange, some small mistakes can cause some big problems, but in the end, everyone just worries themselves, “if he did something then I will blah blah”, no one has ever been in that kid’s shoes, what he might do that may influence his whole life. I quit opening the door with the stupid tools, there is only one way to open it. I gesture people to stand by, and I start to hit the door with my shoulder, thank god it’s a wooden one, not for long, I burst the door open. I see the kid standing outside the window, hands on the frame, tiptoes on the edge, he won’t be able to last any long.

“Stay back! Or I jump!” He yells at us when he sees me enter the doorway.

“Please, Joe, don’t do that, I love you, I don’t care what your dad thinks, just come inside, please, I’m begging you.” The boy cries.

“If you loved me, you wouldn’t have pushed me to do that! You know what my father said? He said 'I don’t think I know you anymore, what’s wrong with you, and why are you telling me this!!!'” He shouts so loudly that I’m sure the people on the ground can hear it. My heart drops, with the flame rises in my chest, what kind of father could say something like that to his kid? I tighten my fists, and the let them go.

“Let me do this.” I nod to the boy and Athena. Then Athena pulls the boy backwards.

“Joe, listen to me, and look at me, don’t look down, you see, I don’t have any gears to prevent you doing that, but please hear me out.” I move forward slowly, remembering that Cap told us it’s okay sometime to make up a story to save people’s lives, so I turn off the radio. When I move closely to him enough to make sure that no one can hear us, I start talking.

“I understand your feelings, my wife, ex wife actually has been dead for a while.” I realize that this is the first time I try to talk about her voluntarily since that day.

“My condolence? Are you seriously talking to me about your dead wife?”

“I haven’t been with anyone else since then.” I continue and ignore his disrespectful tune. “But I've met a guy for a while now, I haven’t noticed him on purpose for a long time, but the longer I ignored him, the more uncomfortable I felt. So I kissed him against his will two weeks ago, we stopped talking after that. And this is killing me because I want him, but I’m also afraid that I may lose him as a close friend and I’m afraid of coming out, not that my friends won’t accept me, just everything will be so different.” I confess to him.

“You are a handsome guy, I’m sure you will find someone better than him.” He tells me, I can feel the a little bit ease in his voice.

“No, it’s not like that, I haven’t felt this for almost ten years, not even with my last wife, I loved her, but this is different, the guy I met is an impulsive, childish asshole, but he’s too cute and funny to not forgive everything stupid he’d done. He’s good to my kid, he even saved my kid’s life. You see, not everyone has the chance you have to choose the life you want at a very young age, my kid has CP, I don’t even know if he could ever have the right and abilities to live like a normal person, so if you feel that life is unjust, suck it up, you still have so many choices to make, and so many experiences to take, don’t waste it.” I reach out my hands, he looks shocked by my words, and then I see him nod.

However, when he is trying to climb in, he slips as he hands in the air, I rush to the window, and I grab him in second before he drops.

“Don’t look down!” I lock his eyes with mine, but he’s heavier than he looks, and he’s struggling which makes even harder to pull him up.

“Give me his other hand!” Athena says behind me suddenly, I pull him up a little, and hand his other hand to Athena, we together pull him back to the edge, then when he’s steady, we help him climb inside.

“Is the kid alright?” I ask Hen after Cap interrogated me why I turned off the radio.

“Slight scrape on the knees, just scared, he’ll be fine.” Hen replies as she turns and pulls me away. “What kind of incantation you spell on that kid? He looks so grateful about life right now.”

“Just the facts.” I answer her, beating about the bush, just like I told Cap that kid didn’t want to be heard talking. She nods pensively and walks away.

I walk up to the kid as he looks me along the way. I sit beside him.

“Did you make up the story to trick me down from there? If it was, then you should totally go to be an actor.” He looks at me with a bitter smile.

“With exaggerated expression, but it’s basically true.” I tell him as I look forward and then look down to my foot, feeling embarrassed.

“Want some advice from a childish teenager who just tried to kill himself?”

“What to lose?” I shrug and laugh.

“I have known Zack for like my entire life, our parents are really good friends, since we started dating, he came out to his parents, they took it really well, but I knew how my dad really thought about it, and after my mom died, he’d become more fractious and irrational, but I still came out to him because I love Zack, and I know both of them love me, even though we fight over each other all the time, it’s like no one get my nerves like they do. If there is anyone can get under your skin so far and get you angry like nobody else does, that’s because you care about him, I understand just now after what you told me, you should talk to that person, don’t waste it, right?” He quips. I stare at him, where this brat spoiled kid knows all of these?

“Smartass.” I finally scoff at him with a smile.

“Joe?” We both look over to the crowd where his dad pushes a way to the fire truck.

“Dad?” Not wait Joe stands up, his dad runs over and takes Joe in his arms.

“I’m sorry, I’m so so so sorry…” He tightens his arms when Joe pets his back.

“Dad, can’t…breathe…”

“Sorry.” He pulls away. And he looks to me and says.

“Thank you.”

“Well, don’t say something like that to your kid ever again, okay?” He nods, and I gesture Zack, who is standing aside watching all along, to come over as I walks away. I gotta go, anyway, I promised Christopher that I will be there to take him home from school, and I’m already late.

“Wait, Eddie.” Someone calls me from my back, I stop but fear to look back, because I know the voice.

“Hey.” He catches up with me.

“What do you want? Buck.” I shrug and make sure there is no eye contact. I’m afraid that he sees the dirty blonde hair, sharp sliver green eyes, roughly handsome features and dreamingly goofy smile reflect in my eyes, I’m so afraid that he may see the vision of him in my eyes, then he will know everything.

“Nothing, I just want to tell you that whatever you told that kid, you did a great job, and I miss you and Christopher, I’m just saying.” He tells me, with the normal voice he has. But I can already feel my face heated, I have to go.

“Thanks, I gotta go.” I left without looking back, but just picturing the scene that he stands there watching me leaving makes my chest hurt so much.


	5. Chapter 5

Buck

That’s it, that was my last try, I don’t know why I wanted to do that, he didn’t even wanted to look at me in the eye, I know I’m not a person who gives up easily, but the feelings just make me suffocated, I can't bear the self-doubt and guilty anymore, I hate the influence that Eddie can do to me, everything will be so much easier when I convince myself that I’m not his puppet, that I don’t have to live for anyone else.

I sigh as I see Eddie pass me vexatiously at the gate of 118, it must be Christ, gosh, I miss him so much. Miss him so much as it seems more like I’ve failed to live up to him, I feel like I didn't do my responsibility for him, to be honest, this is a bit scare me, although Christopher is just a small kid, but I've never been to see him like that, he was like my most innocent friend, and I really enjoyed every minute and second that I spent with him, I have never asked myself why I would like to be his around , even if it is just two of us sitting on the floor sticking the lego messily like two crazy people, or watching the most childish cartoon, accompanied by him, I’ve never felt that satisfied in my whole life, if only as a friend, I wouldn't do anything with him without any reason, and I wouldn't feel guilty for not being with him all the time. I have never thought that I have been treating Christ from a different angle, just like a…Dad.

My flat is very close to the fire house, it never took me a long to get home even if just by feet. In fact, Los Angeles in spring is quite comfortable, although the weather will change occasionally, but most of the time it still keeps in a relatively cool and fresh state. It even drizzled a little on my way home, but just as I’m about to get a towel to wipe down, the doorbell rings. Who would come knocking at this hour? I thought as I walk back to the door.

“I’m sorry, who are…” I ask when I unlock the door and open it. And I see Christopher standing on the porch.

“Hi, Buck.”

“Oh shit.” I curse under my breath and look around. I pull him inside and close the door.

“What are you doing here? Have you been soaked? How did you get here?” I utter so many questions, and he seems get confused by me. After checking he fine from the rain, I release a sigh, and ask him again.

“How did you get here? Your dad must have been worrying about you.”

“He was late, and I don’t have the key in our house, so I asked Jack’s dads to drop me here.” He tells me with his innocent eyes.

“Have you called you dad?”

Head’s shaking.

“Ummm, okay, are you hungry, let me get you something to eat, okay?”

Nod.

“Great, you can wait on the couch, the TV is on.” I talk to him as I take his schoolbag off from his shoulders and guide him to the couch.

I put some food that Cap made today into the microwave and pull out my phone, I should call Eddie to let him know Christopher is fine, but looking at the numbers just makes me nervous. I inhale a large breath and close my eyes, and I click the button.

“Hey.” I greet as I hear he pick up the phone.

“Buck, have you seen Christopher? His teacher told me that Jack’s father took him home, but I can’t him at home either, oh my God, should I call Athena?” He blunt with a little cry in his tune.

“No, no, that’s why I called you, Christ’s here, he’s fine, don’t worry, I’m getting him something to eat, you should come and pick him up later.” I assure him.

“Thank you, Buck, I, I don’t even know what to do if without you, I’m on my way.” Then he hangs up, what did he mean “if without me”? I look over to Christopher who’s laughing goofily at the TV, thinking what if I don’t have him? My life would be so different now. But I’m happy to have him with me.

It didn’t take much long for Eddie get here, he may get a speeding ticket afterwards.

“Thank you, Buck. I can’t believe he lie to his teacher and Jack’s fathers so he can get here.”

“Well, it’s about the age, believe me, I lied like an old stager all the time when I was at his age.” I confess.

“Well this was the first time he lied to his teacher and other strangers.” I look at Eddie, I don’t know what to say next, so I just stare at him, I really miss this, being with him and Christ, somehow makes me calm and relaxed.

“We should be going.” He says. He probably has sensed the stare.

“Yeah, it’s getting late.” I agree with him, but I don’t really want them go, because I don’t know when will we be talking again after this.

“Christopher!” Eddie calls. “Are you ready to go?”

Christopher turns his head to look us, shaking his head. Did he just refuse his dad?

“But it’s getting late.”

“I wanna stay over, Dad, it’s Friday, I missed Buck.” Wow, I don’t even know how to respond that, I glance over to Eddie, I can see the shock in his eyes.

“It’s okay, you can stay here too, you don’t have shift tomorrow, right? I can take the mattress, you and Christopher should take the bedroom.” I offer.

But he just shakes his head a little.

“I will go, Christopher can stay here, I will be here to pick him up tomorrow.” He says when he picks up all his stuffs and ready to go.

“Wait.” I stop him. “Can we have a talk before you go?” I ask him. He stare at me in shock for a long time, but he nods eventually.

Eddie

He leaves the door ajar when we go outside. And I just stand right in the middle of his drive way, waiting him to talk. But he’s just on his feet bewilderedly, unwilling to talk, I know I have to push him to say the cruel things he couldn’t have managed to say all by himself.

“Buck, spill it.” I force him to do it, locking his eyes with mine.

“Eddie, I…”

“What?” I’m not being impatient, I just can’t stand this anymore, I need this to be over.

“I was thinking that…”

“That kiss? I told you it was nothing, that’s a joke, oh my god, for god’s sake, why can’t you drop it?” I don’t where all the anger comes from, when I’m sane, I catch myself was yelling at him.

“I know, but what I don’t know is, why are you so angry? Why were you so angry? Is that because I didn’t pull away from you immediately? I’m sorry I was shocked, okay? Do you have any idea how it was for me to be ghosted by you, and feel the guilty for you and Christopher? Can you please be my position for even once?” His eyes are turning into red, not because of the rage, but the sorrow, seeing him hurt is the least thing I want for him, and when he hurts, I can’t even remember what makes me more upset than this, it’s like stepping by an elephant on my chest.

“I’m sorry, I truly am, but I couldn’t be near to you, I was afraid…” I can’t do this, I thought I can, but I can’t.

“Of what?” He questions closely.

“You, okay? I was afraid of you!” I blunt out, and I see the confused face of him.

“I was afraid of liking you, too much, beyond friendship.” I confess.

“What? You mean, like that way?”

I nod silently.

“But I thought you and Shannon…” His voice goes down when he says Shannon’s name.

“Yeah, we were married, and for a while, I was happy, but when she faded away from my life the second time, I learned to move on, but I’ve never thought that I would grow the feelings for you.” He just nods to my answer, calmer than I pictured.

“I know you don’t feel the same way, but can we still be friends? I would do anything to make up to you, by the way, I miss you too.” He just falls into his deep thoughts, I can see he’s thinking how all of these happened. And then he looks up, with his determined look. I swallow hard as he look closer, and he shakes his head. My world collapses. I nod to show I get the message clearly and turn to leave. I know I might cry, and he can’t see it.

“Unless.” He speaks behind me.

I shoot my eyes back, finding him smiling like an idiot.

“What?” I ask him when he steps down from the small porch and moves close to me until there are only serval inches.

“Unless.” He says the word quietly again to draw my attention.

I look at him close, I don’t care if he can see the vision of him in my eyes anymore, because I’m already lost in his eyes, in everything about him. To my surprise, he cups my face with his hands, his warm palms against my heating cheeks, and he kisses me, just slightly, tentatively on the tip of our lips.

“Unless the friendship includes this, and this.” He mouthes when our lips remain touching. The next kiss comes before I can think. This one is entirely different, our mouthes are fully stroke together, hands grabbing each other’s neck. He’s tasting my lips with his tongue, and I give it all, moving my own tongue to tantalize his into my mouth, I want to taste him too, inhale all the scent of the sunlit skin, and the smell of sandalwood and sea salt. This is Buck, I guess. He bites my lower lip for the last time before our lips part so that we can breath again.

“So, were you feeling the same way? How long?” I ask. He grins, shaking his head.

“Honestly? I don’t know, probably since the first day I met you, but what made me confirm it was you telling me that you actually like me.”

“But what took you so long, and why didn’t you just tell me?”

“Well, you made me suffer more than two weeks, I was being gentle already when I made you feel bad less than a minute.” So he was playing with me, what an asshole.

“Did you have your good time?” I ask ironically.

“Yeah, it was pleasant to see you suffer, so, are you going to stay tonight?” He asks me again.

“What do you want me here?” I question him back playfully.

“To finish what you left two weeks ago.” He looks so close, though he’s one or two inches taller than me, but I’m not intimidated by his presence, on the contrary, I feel more safe and pleasurable. This is the moment that I realize he has always been the one that I have wanted no one than others. So I nod under the affectional gaze of him.


	6. Chapter 6

Eddie  
  
After putting our little everlasting third wheel to bed, I decide that I’d better not to show him Phineas & Ferb in any special circumstances, or Buck and I will have no time for sleeping anymore. Thinking about this, my heart first drop a bit, then I feel a sneering feeling. It’s just like the feeling when Sandra, the most beautiful girl of our grade, told me that she liked me in high school. I shouldn't have thought about that in the shower. It's hard to keep the lower part of my body unresponsive when I'm naked. Living with Buck, it feels too good to be true. I try to tell myself that it’s okay, I have been to a war, and there was nothing can make me afraid for a very long time. The next thing come into my mind is Buck being injured. Fuck!

“You have been in there like forever. Are you all right?” Buck asks through the door.

“Well, that's all right, I’m coming out.”

“Well, that took you so long.”

“Haha, very funny, Buck.”

I turn the faucet off, wrap a towel and walk out of the shower. I dry myself and stare at myself in the mirror, thinking I’m usually not as narcissistic as Buck, who spends half an hour in the gym, using half of the time to appreciate how beautiful his muscles are. I don’t know why Buck would like me back. Am I really the right person for him? With a shallow sigh, I slip on a pair of shorts that Buck gave me and walk out.

"Was it just me feeling it, or did you come out of this room and suddenly it was ten degrees hotter?" He says as I emerge from the bathroom, staring at the exposed parts of my body the whole time.

"Cheesy." I smirked and throw the towel in his face. He let the towel hang over his face without holding it until it slid slowly down his arm. He looks at me, picks it up, and buries his face in it, making a strong sniffing sound. My heart is already acing to my throat. I swallow several times unconsciously, but my thoughts won’t be calmed down.

Buck leaves the towel on the floor and walks slowly toward me. I just stand there and let him come near me, put his arms around my back and pulled me toward him as hard as I can ever imagine. Even through his pajamas, I could feel something hard against my stomach.

"Tell me you don't like it, and you will never hear me saying it again." He challenges me in his tone, his turquoise eyes as if daring me to kiss him with my tongue.

"Did I say I hated it?" I pressed my palm to his firm chest and push him towards the bed. He tries to grab my wrist, but My reaction is quicker. I throw him on the bed with backhand and jump on top of him. “Tell me, what exactly do you like about me?"

Before he answers, he rolls over and pinned me under when I isn't paying attention, and he uses his weight to make sure I can't get away. "The same reason that makes you like me." Then he put my hand up on the mattress and lean over and squeeze me into a kiss that is impossible to escape and even harder to breathe from.

Buck pressures me with his lips locking down on me, doesn't allow me to have the slightest move, as if I could escape or run at any time, but honestly I really enjoy this feeling, I can feel his hands sandwich between the two of us to uncover me to nakedness, he uses the rock-solid hard to rub on my half erect cock. Although I try hard not to make a sound, I couldn't help panting a little in my throat.

"You want it, don't you?" As his mouth runs down from my cheek to my ear, he begin to dig deep into my ear with his tongue and nibble at my earlobe. "This room is soundproof. I want you to call it out."

As he spoke, he slowly dips his hand into my underwear and starts to play with my penis and testicles. "Oh Buck, stop it, fuck." I call it out when he grabs both of my balls. Buck's slightly cold palm wraps my cock, and my foreskin jerks up and down. I feel as if I’m about to lose my grip. At some point, he has ripped the underwear off, and he is sitting on my lap, looking at my naked body, and then his eyes fell on my hard penis.

“Lucky me I guess." He grasps my cock in both hands as if he’s measuring my size, and when he grasps it firmly, goosebumps spread all over me. I've been told that my penis is pretty big, but since I haven't had a lot to compare it to, I'm not sure I'm that big.  
“Buck, are you sure you want this?” I just want to make sure, before we go on, that all of this is true, that I’m actually lying in his bed with Buck, doing what I've always want to do.

“What do you mean?” He assumes a naive expressions pretending not to know what happened, however, he just takes off his clothes which is sexy as hell. This is the first time I see his fully naked body, his hard-on is played out from inside of the pants, and his cock is as long as mine, I just have the advantage of being thicker, but his shape looks very good, the light pink glans of his penis make it more attractive.

“Do you like it?” Before I could answer, he presses the two of us together, take our cocks in both hands, and begin to move them up and down. "Ugh, Buck, ugh..." I try to stop him, but every time I try to speak, he would grip me harder, and I would go all limp and I would just go "uh-huh, uh-huh." Every time his penis hits mine, there is an electric current running through both of us, making me think I may be about to have an orgasm. To my surprise, Buck comes first, his penis is shaking as he shouts, spilling his cum all over my abs like a sprinkler. Finally he can't hold on any longer and collapses on top of me, his sticky cum sandwiches between our bodies.

“I'm sorry, but normally, I don't come this fast.” He gasps. I look at him and touch his cheek gently with my hand.

“No, I don't mind. Just, tell me where do you keep the condom and the lube?” I say after kissing him on the ear.

“What do you want?” He asks, looking at me in horror.

“I haven't come, have I?” I asks him suggestively, and he smiles with a sigh.

“Sure, you better be gentle with me.” Then he gets up from me and walks slowly to the bathroom.

Until I’m sure that I can't see him, I slowly sit up in his bed and pick up the towel to wipe the cum off my abdomen. Then I got this idea. I hide behind the door and overhear him rummaging in the bathroom. How long hasn’t this guy had sex? When I hear him preparing to turn back, I stand against the wall. The first thing he do is poke his head out and look in the direction of the bed and see that nobody is there, and just as he is about to look in my direction, I rush out and grab the condom and the lube out of his hand.

"Are you trying to frighten me to death?" He cries. I have no intention to answer, but take him by the hand, lead him to the bed, and throw him back upon it.

"Lie down for me this time." I don't know why, but I want Buck to be good, and he lies face down and watches his white buttocks shake as he falls. I can't wait any longer.

He looks back at me without moving his body. "Wow, To be honest, I kind of like the way you're bossing me around." There is an expression of fascination and enjoyment in his face.

“Shut up!” I order again, and he do so. So I start putting lube on my index finger. I tried anal sex once with Shannon, and she hated it, but in retrospect I think it was pretty good. As I shake it out from my head, while entering slowly with the help of the lubricating oil into the body of the Buck, he must have felt the cold of lubricant, because I can feel him forward back a bit, at the same time his sphincter wraps my index finger up a little bit more tightly. It should be the first time for Buck, because he is too tight, I don't know how I’m going to put my dick in this. When he finally relaxes a little, I add another finger, then a third, and he screams out as I tried to add the ring finger. "Oh, Eddie, no, I can't add any more."

"Buck, relax, breathe. I need you to trust me, okay?" I see him bury his head in his hands and nod his head slowly. Then I slowly insert my third finger deep into his anus. I don't know how long it took before I finally feel his sphincter relax and he goes from holding his breath to normal panting and shallow whining. I know he was ready, so I put on the condom, lubricate my puffy dick, and put some of that on Buck's butt. Then I start rubbing my meat stick against his butt. I can feel him lifting his butt to meet me.

"Say you want me to enter your body." "I whisper in his ear.

"You've already got too much shit on your plate." "He complained.

"I won't move if you don't say so." I just put my cock there, even though I can't wait for him to admit that he wants me. He shivers for a moment under me, and I can hear him gnashing his teeth.

"Er, can you fuck me?"

"Please..."

"Aha, please stuff your bastard into my hole and fuck me hard. Are you satisfied?"

"Couldn't be more satisfied." I said secretly, and then I begin to squeeze the head of the penis into his anus slowly. He is really tight, just the glans can even make him cry out of pain. I try to put some more in, but he let out another cry of pain. So I stop and lean over to comfort him.

"If it hurts too much, forget it. I don't want you to get hurt." I kiss his cheek and the corner of his eye as I speak.

"I'm fine. Stay still for a moment. Hold the position for me to adjust."

"Well, you'll be all right for as long as you want." Nothing was more important to me at this time than making Buck comfortable.  
After about ten seconds, he asks me to continue. "Are you sure?" He nod. So I begin to move again, he certainly ease some more than before, but every time insert still makes me feel as if I’m doing a dredge pipe. I can also feel a little pain, enjoy every sprint as I go in deeper. Buck cry out so loudly of every pump I make. In order not to wake Christ I have no option but to use one hand to hold Buck's neck, and then pick him up, with another hand covering his mouth. He puts his hands in turn and hold on either side of my ribs. When I cover his mouth, his muscles pinched me impossibly tight, and I cried out, as if I had been struck by lightning. I freeze.

“Don't... Don’t…” I think I heard Buck saying something.

“Don't... Stop!” Hearing him say this seems to give me motivation again. I put my finger in his mouth, and he coincidentally suck it.

“Do you like it?”

“Harder! Ahhh, that's great, I can't take it anymore!” he said, with a lisp. So I start poking my whole stick into his body, and we start screaming together, and I've never felt pain like that before. Until Buck begin to laugh, a laugh between debauchery and gaiety, and I quicken the pace again.

"It's... That's it... That's great, you... Fuck me..." I can feel Buck's butt sucking at my dick, and I have no adjective for it, his inner muscles gripping my dick one by one.

"Buck, your ass is amazing. I'm going to come. I... Aaaaaaargh!" The last time, With all my strength, I drive my whole body deep into it. He calls my name, too, and we are both exhausted on the sheets that have been soaked with our sweat and lubricant. It takes a while for my semi-soft lower cock to slowly slide out of his anus and he spit out some excess lubrication.

As I am about to end it all, he bounces up and rolls over on top of me. Is this guy powered by a rocket engine?

"Do you really think I'm going to make myself the only one who can't walk tomorrow?" He reaches out for the lubricant and the condom. I don't know if it's because I'm too weak to fight back, or if I'm ready for him to fuck me out of my mind.  


  
Buck  
  
I have no idea how long we've been in bed, and we just calm ourselves down and stare at each other, no one is ready to start a conversation. I reach out my hand to Eddie, and before I touch his face, he grabs my hand, fingers it, and puts it on his chest.

"Was that just your first time, with a guy..." Somehow, I’m not ashamed at all a moment ago, and now I'm ashamed of what I just did with Eddie. You're thinking too much again, Buck! I slap myself in my mind to wake myself.

"Well, I've dealt with a few needs with my battalion in the past, but what we've just done, for the most part, is a first for me. What about you?" I know I shouldn’t have asked this question. I'm usually very reluctant to tell people about my past, but that's Eddie. Given what we've just done, I have nothing to hide.

"It was the senior year of my high school, we were all drunk behind our parents' backs. So was my best friend Josh and I. The next day we woke up in the same bed, naked. We both knew in our hearts that we had sex, but we never talked about it, and then I went to the Navy primaries, we never spoke again since then." I tell Eddie that, just about Josh, we actually had a big fight, he scolded me by calling me the F word, and my relationship with my parents at that time also wasn’t very good. Maddie, the only one who I can say few words to, has just met Doug that jerk, everyone left me, that was the reason why I went to the navy's primary. After what happened to Josh, I can’t dare to have a long-term relationship, either as a friend or as a lover. Now Abby has found someone she loves. I wish her all the best, but no one has ever stayed for me. I've tried not to think that Eddie will leave me one day, but I just can't stop. The fact that I won't have anyone to accompany me is deeply engraved in my heart. Every time I'm with someone I love, I just can't help tearing my scar.

I felt I could not hold back my tears. I had to let go of his hand and lie down, trying not to let Eddie see me.

"You were never the one to leave, were you?" He gently help me to dry the corner of the eye. I turn to look at him and realized that I can't say a word. He looks at me and smiles, and then he draw me into his arms again. I bury my face between his shoulder blades and his chest, and he rubs my short hair with his hands, and lays his chin upon the top of my head.

"It's all right, you don't have to say anything, I know."

“What do you know?"

“I know I won't leave you, I know it's a strange thing to say, but if you will, as friends or in any way, I promise that till death do us part.” Then he bows his head and kisses my forehead. I know he just wants to make me happy, and he did it. I look up and met his eyes.

"How do you feel about being boyfriends for a while?" I speak without thinking about it again. First he looks surprised, then he smiles and shows his white teeth.

"Anything you want." As he answers me, he holds me tighter.


End file.
